Time Traveling Troll?

I hope I’m smart enough that I would not take this review seriously, even without the owner’s response. I mean, to begin with, how many insane things would have to have gone wrong for there to be a fingernail on your waffle? And really, what are the odds that management would absolutely refuse to do anything about it?

Luckily, to explain away the discrepancies in this review, we have a response from the owner, pointing out that the review can’t possibly be true, given that the restaurant isn’t even open yet. If you’re a bored troll leaving fake reviews online, here’s some advice: research the restaurant first so this doesn’t happen.