Golden Oldies

Look, oldies radio station, we need to have a serious talk. Elvis Presley is oldies. The Supremes are oldies. Simon and Garfunkel are oldies. England Dan and John Ford Coley are oldies. I’ll even accept Prince and Queen as oldies, if I absolutely must.

But Blink-182, Pearl Jam, and the Cranberries are not oldies, okay? I listened to them in high school, which means that they have to be cool music for hip young folks. If they are oldies, that means that I am an oldie, and I’m not ready to be hit in the face with my age when I’m in my car on a perfectly innocent errand of going to Taco Bell to buy a crispy potato soft taco.