Chilling Turkey

The number one mistake that people make when trying to roast a Turkey is to underestimate the truly enormous amount of time it takes. Many turkeys are sold frozen, and the act of unthawing such a massive chunk of meat takes hours or days. On top of that, you have to have it in the oven for hours.

The number two mistake that people make when trying to roast a turkey is to misunderstand the instructions. The trouble with an event like this is that once you have personified the turkey and given it eyes and let it watch Netflix in your sink, you’re going to get attached, and then you’re going to want to keep the frozen turkey as a pet rather than cook it. This is a rookie mistake.