#2: Mr. Michael Jagger

As an American, I totally get this next one. Around here—or at least around my part of America—we don’t use Mick as a nickname for Michael; we just use Mike. Or, if it’s 1970s and the Michael in question is an adorable little child eating Life cereal, we use Mikey.

So, of course, the name Mick Jagger isn’t going to make any sense, especially if you’ve only ever heard it and never seen it written down. Also, don’t you think Mick Jagger would be even cooler if he was Scottish? I certainly do.