Closed Off

I don’t know about you guys, but I’ll stick to online shopping for my religious needs. I thought stalking was only for exes and paparazzi, but apparently, it’s a recruitment tactic for some churches too. I can imagine the conversation now: “Hey, did you hear about that new church in town?”

“Yeah, but I heard they have a weird way of showing you they care.” “How so?” “Well, let’s just say they like to keep tabs on you… literally.” I don’t know about you, but I prefer my personal space and privacy to be respected. Thanks, but no thanks, cults – leave me out of it.