This article was originally published on petsreporter.com

We’ve all watched enough courtroom dramas to know just how meticulous lawyers and judges are about their arguments and decisions. Below, we have dozens of stories from lawyers who really wish their clients had either learned how to phrase things a bit better or never hired them in the first place. A few even outline some sneaky defenses that just seem wrong! We get it. There’s a lot of pressure riding on the defendant when they’re in those four walls. They’ve been charged with a crime, serious consequences will be handed out, and they’ve spent a lot of time overthinking what to say and how to act. Unfortunately, some people just don’t get the memo, and others get away with crazy stuff! Without further ado, let’s take a look at what these lawyers have to say in their defense.

#1: *Sigh*

There’s no doubt that hunting can cause ear damage, but there’s no way that it would cause more than jet engines. While decibels vary depending on the caliber, it’s an average of about 155 decibels. That’s three times louder than a lawn mower. For another example, an iPhone will warn you if you’ve listened to music on it for over FIVE hours at 80 decibels.

Let’s keep in mind that recreational hunting probably involves between one to ten shots a day, and they’re very brief. The sound lasts less than two seconds. Now, working near jet engines would be an entire eight to twelve hours shift worth of noise at 120-140 decibels. So, rifles are louder, but the damage they cause is nothing compared to unceasant jet engines. Case closed!