Spitting on Seagulls

I’ve got some questions, Virginia. First of all, who’s out there spitting on seagulls in the first place? And secondly, how much is the fine for said seagull spitting? Apparently, Virginia is home to over 150,000 seagulls during the breeding season. So, I guess they take their seagull protection pretty seriously.

I imagine some poor tourist getting slapped with a seagull spitting fine. “Sir, I must ask you to step away from the seagulls and keep your mouth shut.” Just enjoy Virginia’s amazing beaches and ocean views instead – and stick to spitting on your own shoes. Animal abuse is never acceptable.