I’ll prepare the grave

Charlie was trying to be cute and playful with his girlfriend. He texted her to let her know that he cuddles with bits of her bodily waste because he enjoys the smell. He obviously meant shirts, as you can see from his correction later on in the text exchange, but the awkwardness was already set in stone.

Sorry, Charlie, but there’s no recovering from this. You’ve dug yourself in a bottomless pit of shame. The only solution is to pack up your bags and move to Tibet to live among the wild goats. Don’t tell your girlfriend where you are. You’ll just make things even more awkward.