3. At Least He Doesn’t Have a Twin

Heir mattresses are the worst. They’re not too bad at first, but as they increasingly lose heirs, it becomes less comfortable, and you get just a bit closer to the floor. Worry not, Your Majesty; one day, you will be king and get to sleep in the king-sized bed.

Until then, at least you’re not stuck in one of those really narrow twin-sized beds. Who came up with the names for beds anyway?! Twin-sized is not keeping to the name-theming at all. Shouldn’t it be a prince-sized bed? Maybe a jester-sized bed?