#3: Train Wreck Wedding

Let this story be a cautionary tale to all friends out there. If you haven’t met your best friend’s long-term partner, that’s a red flag. No if’s, and’s, or but’s about it. If your bestie’s partner is serious about them, they’ll make an effort to meet family and friends and make a good impression.

Apparently, this storyteller didn’t meet his best friend’s girlfriend until the literal day of their wedding. His excuse was always that she was “shy,” but there was probably another reason she wasn’t introduced to everyone beforehand. She was wasted on her wedding day, assaulted the groom, and was basically a hot mess during the whole event. Imagine how awkward that wedding must have been!